What have I achieved in 3 years?

It's quite a sad thing to realise that I had achieved nothing more than financial freedom in 3 years.

I went for a Professional Learning Community (PLC) meeting last Friday on behalf of my SH of PE/ Aesthetics. I was the only non KP there. This community was for PE HODs and SHs and I felt quite out of place and embarrassed. Uncomfortable because I wasn't holding any positions in school at all. Especially when I recognised someone from another school who was my junior in NIE. So while she had promoted, I had remained as a teacher after 4 years of teaching in the same school. This month marks the 5th year of my teaching in my school. What have I achieved? I guess in terms of promotion, I was only promoted in my scale.

Someone once told me that without the position, it will be very hard to drive a programme. That's true. Listening to the sharing of a HOD from another school, I saw the support that the Principal gave to him and the hard work put in by him. He is really capable. I am impressed. I am envious (in a good sense). Do I have what it takes to pursue this position? Or am I contented to be just a teacher?

This week's CGM and service got me to think of what I had achieved in my spiritual walk with God these 3 years as well. As we prepare ourselves to celebrate our church's 20th anniversary, I walked myself down memory lane to where I first started to receive Christ. The excitement and zeal I had in wanting to know more about God. The everyday praise and worship sessions that I had in my room with God where I really jumped and praised God in my room. The queueing up 2-3 hours before a service. The hanging out late with cell group members. I missed those days of being so close to God and having the Holy Spirit prompting me to do anything and everything. These 3 years marked the deepest valleys of my life. I seemed to be on a roller coaster ride moving up and down. The ups were tough going (and I'd never hit the peak these 3 years) and the downs were so fast that it takes only seconds to fall to the bottom and remained at the bottom. Do I still want to go up again? Of course! I've been trying very hard to get myself to be disciplined again. So far I have yet to be disciplined. 3 years of slacking has been far too long. I had wasted enough time. I am really disatisfied. As much as I know that God is always blessing me, I need to know the Blesser all over again.

As I celebrate my 9th year in CHC, help me Lord, to know You all over again. To fall in love with You all over again.

29 He gives power to the weak,
And to those who have no might He increases strength.
30 Even the youths shall faint and be weary,
And the young men shall utterly fall,
31 But those who wait on the LORD
Shall renew their strength;
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
They shall run and not be weary,
They shall walk and not faint. ~Isaiah 40:29-31~

Take away that spiritual lethargy and help me mount up with wings like eagles, run and not be weary, walk and not faint!